Being the right time for career development, also this is the right time to set up personal relations and family relations. One has to plan and cope up well with one’s marriage plans, or we say in other words it is the right time to choose one’s life partner. Here, Tayib and Rachel, both are not able to balance their career and personal relation. Tayib should have listened to his parents when he was asked to go for further studies. So that he would have been in the position by now, that he always wanted to be in.
When one is in right position, one can handle time management pretty well. He could make time at least now and then on important occasions like Luke’s birthday, and would not have disappointed Rachel. Rachel is in dilemma if she has chosen right person to be with or not. She is confusing herself thinking if Tayib is caring her or not. So, she feels if may have to look for the right person. But, it is a simple logic that if Tayib does not care her at all, he would not at least make it to take Rachel and Luke to amusement park even at that tight schedule.
A marriage is built from the everyday-ness of living together — from what seem like the trivial as well as the obviously significant experiences, encounters, sufferings, and satisfactions. (Howard, Charlotte). It is said so, that such a relation has pleasure as well as tensions. So, one has the ability of compromise at least now and then. Life is a big compromise, why not it in the relations? Rachel should give space to Tayib at least, till he gets settled well in his career. All relationships have challenge. It is important to identify and choose the challenge to address.
When not in alignment, we need to remain conscious and skillful. The pain of breaking up can be eliminated when we truly balance head and heart. (Pamela). If at all she has something in her mind for now, she has to keep her words at Tayib, and know what answer Tayib has for her. Then she should decide if she will be able to wait for the right time to get along with Tayib or to look for some one better. If you believe that there is room for improvement in your personal effectiveness and resilience in some areas of your life, a psychological consultation may help you work toward such improvements.
You may notice that you have certain patterns of thinking and behavior that interfere with your success with and the enjoyment of certain endeavors. (Mashman). Rachel may also be worried about external things like what her parents would think about her decision about Tayib, as he did not turn up for dinner on Luke’s birthday. This is a serious point to her as she had a trouble with her previous relation that was with Luke’s father, which drew a gap between her parents and her. She is too worried if she would have to face another relation failure.
She wants her child to get proper parenthood, so she has been looking for someone who would be good enough to take care of Luke. If you have serious or escalating conflicts, obtain professional counseling help, rather than turning to relatives and friends for advice. Broken hearts often require more professional skill than broken arms. (Howard, Charlotte). So, it is better they both think practically and conclude what they are looking for. They have to sit together and talk, if they are looking for the same in the relation. They have to discuss why they both are not satisfied with the relation.
This may give them a clue, if to stick to the relation or to give it up. Thus if they need further assistance, they should approach professional counselors.
References Erikson, E. (2008). Erik Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development. Stage 6 young adulthood. Retrieved March 8, 2008. Fischer, J. L. (2005). Transitions in relationship style from adolescence to young adulthood. Journal of youth and adolescence. 10, 11-23. Howard J. and Charlotte H. Clinebell. The Intimate Marriage. Enriching the seasons of marriage. 6. Pamela Simmons Counseling. (2008, March 8). Five tips for couple success. Retrieved March 8, 2008, from http://www.pamelasimmonscounseling.com/