“It contact with your conscience. Sometimes you
“It is going to be fine” they say, that soon, just soon you will wake to
a phone call, a door bell, a voice of him groping your sleepy, rough, unkempt
beard with his little, tiny, chubby, fondly hands. That if only you hold on a
little longer, the serenity; tranquility and the boring calmness of your
presence, your pc, Spotify and your headphones will be forgotten; because;
there will be better persons; musical sounds of giggles, laughter and crying.
In a little while you will be wrapped up in joy, happy, smile. You will be
drowning in contentment and floating in the twelfth cloud of ‘this is heaven’.
And you hear it; its loud, crystal clear; undoubted! Even pretty
alluring and you wish this could be tomorrow. But here is the thing, it’s easy
to think it makes sense to someone, when you are the one telling; but it does
not. Before you start; asking or judging; this is what I mean; it’s not the
same being there and knowing that feeling:
Inside the being, that feeling is like a huge lump; chunky and sucking
all the fresh air breathed in; your heart feels
untouchable, so aloof; distant and with a grudge. You lose contact with your
conscience. Sometimes you feel hopeless and out of absolute control of
everything and the feeling has taken over. You are now like a tiny speck of
dust in a huge cyclone on the earth, so impossibly small.
You try to be the man and man-up or
woman and woman up! You want to understand; decipher it; and solve the mystery
of this unwelcomed feeling in you which seem to have found a conducive habitat
and has decided to pitch camp; I mean don’t they say the only way to manage a
problem is to understand it and then manage it?
So you brace up; walk into the mirror and You want
to believe in the person you are looking at! but you look in the mirror and you
wonder if you’re strong enough or if you can muscle up enough emotional energy,
to hold it together long enough to win?
its looks so steep and hot and very painful and it goes against every fiber of
your being to push on; but really do you have an option? Because the only
option you have here is to be strong or be strong, it has pushed you to this
corner. You have to walk, crawl, roll, fly or duck step out of there. Just find
a way out.
We all have our
storms and seasons thereof of them; sometimes it’s a flood of joy, an overwhelming
hurricane of pain, or a confusing upsurge of tornado; thrusts of anger
and denial, so much we can’t control — but trust me, all storms always
regain normalcy eventually, and yes just in time; the right time.
You may use tons of energy trying to
bring this ship home in one piece, and in the process it could encounter a few
dents or scratches and general wearing off from taking so much hits and smashes
and ridicule but what will eventually matter is this fact; you will dock
safely; rebuild; repaint; refuel and still go on; this time wiser; stronger;
forget how easy it is to sink in a storm so powerful; it chips away our energy
bit by bit as we struggle to keep our heads above the water, the high tides slap
on your face and pushes you back one mile further away from the banks. But you
don’t relent, you keep swimming through these wild seas hoping that at some
point you end up on the peaceful banks, sit back and watch the sea from a far
and not scare even a flinch at how powerful the waves can be but bask in the
joy of victory the storm. When he shall finally be walking or crawling up to
you and saying, da-da; just one
unfunny word, but the magic word, that which you would give anything to hear,
your new meaning to life.
See, in this imperfect life, it’s so
easy to get wrapped up in doubt and lies. It’s so easy to think that you’re
unreasonable for believing you can. It’s so easy to listen to people around you
and fill your mind with their fear instead of trusting what you know in your
heart to be true.
Believe in a better tomorrow; draw
your inspiration from your hope and ability to believe in change and people changing
and even if they do not; at least you lived hoping for the best in them.
Most important though is for you to
know, this is your story to write; you know when the paragraphs end; you know
where the exclamation mark comes or the comma and full stop. You are allowed to make mistakes, to tear up
the paper, crumble it and write again. Its Ok, I promise you, you just need to
love it to live it!
Life: sometimes will be all happy,
zealous, thrilled, ambitious. Other times it will be unfair, agony, pain, defeat,
lies, betrayal, revelations, twists and turns. But no matter how it is, at any
point it’s a story of your life, it’s what makes it your story; so make sure
you will have fun telling it.
Because Every story is a beautiful story.