Cones (Stines, 2015). Some types of relationships

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Cones
(1997) states that trauma bonding is cause by cycles of abuse. On the other
hand, Stines (2015) states that loyalty to a person who is destructive. While
the idea of bonding tends to bring up connotations of something good and
beneficial, trauma bonds are unhealthy (Stines, 2015). Stines (2015) further
explains that when there is inconsistent reinforcement in relationships, it is when
trauma bonds take to occur, such as those with addicts and alcoholics or in domestic
violence situations (Stines, 2015). Some types of relationships involving
trauma bonding are situations which involve child abuse or incest, kidnapping,
hostage situations and unhealthy work environments. These unhealthy
environments according to Stines (2015) consist of intensity, complexity,
inconsistency and a promise. Victims are still holding on to that impermanent
promise or hope from their partners that is why they tend to stay and that there
will always be a manipulation involved and victims are the prey to this action.

Moreover,
abusive people are great at pretending to be everything you’re looking for in a
partner, and will show you with so much affection (Dodgson, 2017). Also,
Dodgson (2017) explains that when the abuser does that, victims tend to believe
that that is the abuser’s real self, when the mask starts to slip more and more
each day, the victims would believe it is already out of character and would
possibly think it must be their own fault for making their partner angry. Idealization,
devaluation, and discarding are the same patterns that are mostly believed to
be followed by an abusive relationship which consists of a narcissist according
to Dodgson (2017).  There comes a point
when the victim will be so broken and the abuser can no longer get benefit from
using them. 

Freedom
will be entirely within the victim’s own control when the victim finally
realizes the mindsets of both themselves and their abuser (What Abusers Hope We
Never Learn About Traumatic Bonding, 2018). However, once the abusers are gone,
the victim or survivor can finally start coming round to the idea that they
were abused and victims at this point will eventually grieve, and finally see
the damage that was being done, and will realize it wasn’t the victims’ fault (What
Abusers Hope We Never Learn About Traumatic Bonding, 2018). Stines (2015)
states that only after the time away from the unhealthy attachment can a person
begin to see the destruction it caused and eventually breaking trauma bonds and
staying away from the toxic relationship. 

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